The Marble Incident

I recently pulled up to "Nannyland" in the morning to find that Hannah and Dad were home alone.

"Two hour delay?" I asked chuckling.
"Well, you know about the whole marble thing, right?" He looked exhausted.

Marble. Marble. I'm racking my brain Ah. He must really mean granite. Did someone hit their head? What is he talking about?

So it turns out that the previous Saturday, (THANK GOODNESS NOT ON MY WATCH!) Drew decided to eat a marble. But not really a marble. Just a stainless steel ball a little larger than a marble. Then, he proudly proclaimed to all the citizens of Nannyland: "There's a marble in my tummy!"

No one had filled me in. It was Wednesday.

The doctor's told them that the marble would just pass on through Drewbie's pipes but on Tuesday night poor little Drew started getting quite sick. They went to the local hospital which promptly placed 4-year-old Drew into an ambulance and sent them down to the Children's Hospital in the city.

I wish I could somehow scan the x-ray and put it up on the internet. But please try to imagine the tiny, cute x-ray of a 4-year-old child...with a big dot right in the middle of it.

As it turns out, the "marble" got stuck in Drew's gastroesophageal junction (a.k.a. the thing that connects the esophagus to the stomach) and wedged itself there. They were planning on scoping it out, but as soon as they dislodged it disappeared into the stomach before they could retrieve it, and said it would work its way through for real this time.

"And this morning it was in my poops!" Drew proudly told me on Friday morning.

This job is fabulous birth control.

Drew: Mom, can we get a pet?
Mom: No. we have a Hannah.

Interview of Doom

The new year has come with a new urgency to get a "Grown Up" job and move somewhere that isn't my Mom's house.

Luckily over the Holiday break, a non-profit in New York called me to set up a phone interview - finally, after 50 job applications, someone likes me! The position is a Grants Coordinator position.  Of course, I was extremely nervous going into this because I finally have a lead- BUT I've never had  a professional interview like this before.

So, I did my homework, reading the organization's annual report, thinking up potential questions and answers, jotting down questions as they came to mind.

Some family and friends began to tell me I was over-thinking this. A 30 minute phone interview, they said, would be 80% the employer talking, describing the position, and asking me fluff questions and maybe 20% time for me to ask questions and set up an in-person interview.

Oh, how I wish they were right.


Of course all morning this is all I could think about. I was supposed to call Miss Naismith at 1:30 PM so I was surprised to see her number pop up on my incoming calls at 12:30 - "Can we push the interview back to 2 o'clock?" 


So the day dragged on and on until 2. Then I called.

Things started out innocently enough - she said they thought my resume was a good match for some of the skills they were looking for with this position and she'd love to describe the position to me in more detail.

Phew, I thought, this is just what everyone said to expect. I finished the thought and

AH! TOO SOON! RAPID FIRE!

The next 25 minutes of my life were a blur. Questions. In quick succession. Grilling me in much detail.

I had answers and when I didn't I BSed to the best of my ability.

In college some friends and I started an amazing non-profit (www.tristateforthekids.org) so she obviously wanted to ask me about it..which is fine; I love talking about Tri-STATE!

Again, it started out innocently enough..and then "So what percentage of your overall fundraising total came from the letter writing campaign?" BS. "Percentage from events?" BS. "Percentage from canning solicitation?" BS. "So you have never actually written a grant?"

After that she described the position to me - it isn't even actually grant writing, but more administrative and entering data into databases.


I actually enjoy databases; most people find entering data mundane but I love it - I think its my attention to detail and love for organization. WHAT?!?! DID I JUST SAY THAT?!?

Then she asked me for my salary history and requirements. Really?! In a 30 minute phone interview, you want to talk salary?

SO that was painful, to say the least.

I am not planning on hearing back from them, but hey, next time I have an interview I am going to be ready. With BS statistics that actually add up to 100.

Peppa Pig

Perhaps my mind is too perverse to be a Nanny.

Today I looked up at Nick Jr. and there was a short cartoon on called "Peppa Pig" about a little girl pig and her family who seem to be British.

Does anyone else have a comment on these piggies?!

22 going on 38

This whole being a stay-at-home-Mom thing is starting to make me feel quite old. The car seats in the car. The Pepperidge Farm Goldfish and sippy cup in my purse. The fact that I told a 4-year-old to do something "Because I said so!"


On the way to "Storytime" last week, Hannah and I stopped to run an errand. As I was pushing her in the stroller, I caught in my eye someone who attended my grade school, staring at me wide-eyed. They quickly averted their gaze, but I could read their mind. "Oh my God, SHE has a kid?!?" Checking out at a store, the comments and questions always come. "How old is she!?" "Your daughter is beautiful!" "Oh look, she has Mommy's ____!" [Really, that's funny considering you've never met "Mommy"!] It makes me wonder if I should teach Hannah to hold a sign proclaiming that I'm just her Nanny.



The universe has a way of exploiting insecurities. Today, Tyler, the almost-13-year-old, needed to be taken to school late and thus signed into the main office. With Hannah on my hip and Tyler by my side, I signed along the "Parent/Legal Guardian" dotted line and the Secretary said, "Alright, Mom! We're done with you!"


"No! No! No! I'm just the Nanny," I laughed. "And just for the record - I would have had to be 9 years old when I gave birth if he was my son."

Next stop, botox.

Baby's First Words.

Today, I was reading a lovely little book entitled Baby's First Words to Miss Hannah [who still isn't talking].

It was awfully cute - each page has a category with pictures and words describing the images. For example the theme is animals and on the page you'll find pictures of a cat, a dog, a duck, a pig, and an elephant.

Flipping along we got through animals, sports, and numbers, when we reached the "Around the House" page. Television. Computer. Chair. Pocket Knife. Sink. ---POCKET KNIFE!?!?!

Cheers to you, children's book editors. Good work.

Africa

Once in awhile, kids are absolutely adorable.

I take Drew to pre-school twice a week, and pick him up once a week.

The school is very strict about dropping the kids off. You must wait in your vehicle with them until the teacher comes to get them at 8:35, but you cannot park there before 8:30 as the older children are being dropped off at that point.

When we get there at, say, 8:28 we have to wait in the parking lot which makes Drew very ancy. So, when we were almost to school at 8:25 this morning, I gave Drew two options - he could pick the songs on the radio while we waited in the parking lot or I could drive around.

He picked the latter, thinking that was a very cool option.

We drove into a cute little neighborhood, and I did not even notice the retention basin with tall grass and wheat until Drew excitedly exclaimed, "KAT! We're in AFRICA!!!"

He asked if we could go to Africa when I picked him up from school, too.

Sometimes - maybe like 20% of the time - kids are really cute. The rest of the time they are realllllly good birth control.